From cipher, 7 Months ago, written in Plain Text.
This paste will join the choir invisible in 3 Months.
  1. Academic Writing Rant
  2. By Cipher
  4. I have a theory about Libraries.  Visit one and you will find 90% of it is filled with magnificently erected steaming piles of academic pyscho-babble.  Art.  Literature. Fiction.  All manner of subjects covered, some of it fine and wonderous.  A tiny portion of it actually useful.  But go down the Social Sciences Aisle, and you run into the mangled, tortured syntax of the modern liberal arts professor convinced only he/she knows the the path to true enlightenment.  And they wish to share it with us, the Great Unwashed.
  6. To properly construct a title for one of these monstrosities, you must cover all the bases:
  8. 1. In the first half of the title, list at least two unrelated disciplines.
  9. 2. Seperate the first half of the title from the second with a colon.
  10. 3. In the second half of the title, mention "A Multi-Disciplinary Approach."
  11. 4. Make sure it is as removed from reality as possible.
  13. Real Life Examples:
  15. Criminal Belief Systems: An Integrated-Interactive Theory of Lifestyles  
  16. ISBN: 9780275978204  
  18. Gendering Citizenship in Western Europe: New Challenges for Citizenship Research in a Cross-national Context  
  19. ISBN:978184742237
  21. Queer Theory and Communication: From Disciplining Queers to Queering the Disciplines
  22. ISBN: 9781560232766
  24. Social Gerontology: A Multidisciplinary Perspective
  25. ISBN: 9780205336258
  27. And even a book about how to write such nonsense:
  28. Exploring Avenues to Interdisciplinary Research: From Cross- to Multi- to Interdisciplinarity  
  29. ISBN: 9781904761686
  31. And way back in the dimly lit corner of the library, you'll find something else.  A row or two of the books that put us atop the food chain.  The works that seperate us from the ape.  The books that built the world we live in.
  33. This section, often poorly maintained, has tags on the rows:
  35. Science.  Engineering. Physics. Mathematics.
  37. These books are for the knuckle-dragging brutes who insist on constants. Unshaded truth.  Where the color gray exists only as a part of studies of non-spectral colors in the achromatic band of the electromagnetic spectrum.  They live in a world where 1 + 1 always = 2.  Not 2.5.  Not Giraffe. They do not consider how the numbers feel.  They worry not a whit about the self-esteem of an equation.  They seek Truth.  It is the work of their lives to provide us with the empirical proof of things.
  39. Academics, upon their next visit to the library, should at least glance over that way.  And thank their Upright-Walking God for having made the men and women who wrote those books...